Moving to the Netherlands can be exciting, but also a bit isolating. Even after learning Dutch vocabulary and practicing grammar, many internationals still find it hard to connect with Dutch people in daily life.
Whether you’re hoping to build friendships, speak Dutch at work, or simply say more than “hoi” to your neighbours, this blog is for you.

Speaking Dutch is not enough: connection takes courage

Here’s the thing: you can study for hours, follow Dutch language apps, and memorize the word “gezellig”… but real integration in the Netherlands doesn’t happen in your textbook.

It happens where you meet people who have the same interests (or sort of), are in the same stage of life, or sometimes it’s just simply coincidence.
It happens at the playground where your kids are playing, in the grocery store where you’re trying to figure out which milk to buy, the local pub where you want to order something special, at your sports club (after years of pretending you didn’t need exercise 😄), or maybe during lunch at work.

It can be anywhere, but…

Many expats feel stuck because even when they try to speak Dutch, the Dutch switch to English. And while that’s meant to help, it often has the opposite effect, it blocks your confidence and slows your progress (If you’re Dutch and reading this, keep that in mind 😉)

The truth is: most Dutch people don’t know you want to speak Dutch. You have to tell them. Remember the Dutch directness? They will understand.

So, try this magic phrase:
👉 “Sorry, ik leer Nederlands. Kun je het in het Nederlands zeggen?” (and smile!)

It’s simple. It works. And it shows them you’re trying, which most Dutchies will like.

A typical scene you might know...

Let’s paint a picture: you’re an international parent standing at your child’s schoolyard... Parents are chatting around you, all in Dutch. You want to say something, anything, but your brain freezes. What if they talk back too fast? What if you make a mistake?

So you smile. Maybe you say “hoi,” and they respond.
And then… silence.

This moment is so familiar to internationals trying to start conversations in Dutch.

5 tips to start connecting with Dutch people

Making friends or feeling at home in the Netherlands doesn’t require perfect Dutch. What matters is showing up, and being brave enough to try. These tips are realistic and great for any expat or international who wants to build their social life in the Netherlands:

• Speak Dutch daily. Say one thing in Dutch every day, even just “Goedemorgen” to your neighbour.
• Use bridge phrases like “Mag ik iets vragen?” or “Hoe zeg je dat in het Nederlands?” to ease into conversation.
• Tell a Dutch friend or colleague you are learning Dutch and that you want to speak Dutch with them: “Zullen we voortaan in het Nederlands spreken?”
  You can add: “Als ik het niet begrijp, dan zeg ik het!”
• Join a local activity: such as a sport, a club, or a volunteer event, and speakas much Dutch as you can, mistakes and all.
• Embrace your accent and errors. Laughing together builds connection faster than grammar ever will.

These small steps build real language confidence, and that’s the foundation of meaningful integration in the Netherlands.

Start today, the Dutch are more open than you think

The next time you see a neighbour, a colleague, or a Dutch parent: try one thing in Dutch. Smile. Start simple. And if they switch to English, just ask, “Kan je dit in het Nederlands zeggen?” or continue in Dutch yourself. Use the words you know!

You’ll be amazed at how willing Dutch people are to support you, once they know you want to speak Dutch.

Because here’s the secret: connection doesn’t require perfect Dutch.
Just a bit of courage, a smile, and a simple “hoi.”